Gobble Gobble Gobble!
by Lena-luvs-cats
Summary: Modern AU. In which Allen and Kanda have invited everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner. Chaos ensues. Yullen Oneshot. Rated T for Kanda's (and others') mouth.


**Bonjour encore mes chèrs minoux! And happy Thanksgiving! This is uploading once again right at midnight when the day turns, because I can! Here's another modern AU Yullen oneshot, based on the same modern AU of my debut story 'Boo!' Take a look at that if you wish, and you'll see it. I actually plan to do one for each holiday, I've got a Christmas one brewing up already too! ;D Anyways on with the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray man, or anything for that matter.**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

It was a quiet peaceful November morning, birds chirping outside, and the sun rising in the background. Yes, it was a peaceful morning, and a Japanese police officer by the name Yuu Kanda was sleeping soundly in his bed. That is, until he was woken up by a sound that was _definitely_ not his alarm clock.

 _Gobble gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble!_

Said Japanese man bolted up from his slumber, and threw his alarm clock out the window by reflex. The offending sound did not stop. Growing increasingly agitated, Kanda tried to find its source, but couldn't.

 _Gobble gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble!_

He could not take any more of that antagonizing noise and he yelled out to his lover. "Beansprout! Turn that shit off!" A few moments later, the continuous series of 'gobbles' stopped, and in walked his lover to the bedroom, with a very dirty apron on and a very large speaker in his hands.

"Good morning Kanda." the albino beamed, as if waking up to turkey noises was perfectly normal. "You like the new alarm?"

…

"Beansprout," Kanda growled. Allen's 'not a beansprout' was ignored. "Why the _fuck_ would you play such stupid shit in the _god damned morning_?"

"Because it's Thanksgiving! And we're going to have all our friends and family over!"

"Hah?"

"…" Allen stared at Kanda for a moment. "Kanda did you seriously forget about Thanksgiving dinner?" Kanda did not reply. "Honestly, Kanda, I can't believe how forgetful you are sometimes. Anyways, so Lenalee and her brother's coming, and so are the my family, and Cross, and Lavi, and Bookman, and Marie, and Miranda, and Tiedoll, and Daisya–"

"No."

"Huh?"

"No way in _hell_ am I dealing with all those idiots in my house."

Allen glare-pouted at his lover. "Yes you are. You have to spend time with your family at least."

"I'm not dealing with that old man."

"Kanda! That's rude to your father!"

"I don't care."

…

They stood there glaring at each other.

…

"Che." Kanda turned away, and Allen's face formed a bright smile.

"Yay! Thanks Kanda!" He leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now, off to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner!" and the albino strutted out the door. Kanda sighed and sat back down on the bed.

"Well," he muttered, "now I know tonight's going to be utter chaos."

* * *

The kitchen was a mess when Kanda walked in. There were bowls and cans and bags of various types of foods all laying everywhere. Including on his lover. "Beansprout. What is this mess?" he deadpanned.

"Oh! Kanda, you have the day off right? Can you stop by the market and get me these things." Allen asked, completely ignoring Kanda's question. Kanda got a list to the face. When he took it Allen was already back to his cooking. "Oh my goodness, there's still so much to do, Kanda can you make yourself breakfast this morning? I'm sorry. Oh I don't know if it'll all be ready in time, thank goodness Lenalee and Miranda will help, maybe Lulubell too, oh this is terrible–" He continued on and on in his frenzied manner, while Kanda just made himself a cup of tea.

When he finished his tea, Allen was still darting around in the kitchen. He sighed and got up. He grabbed his lover by the back of his shirt, effectively bringing him to a halt. "Ah! Kanda what are you doing? I still have so much to prepare, let me go– mff!" He was cut off by a kiss to the lips.

"Idiot. Just calm down." Kanda took Allen by the shoulders and steered him out of the kitchen, and sat him down on the couch. "You stay there." he ordered, and went back into the kitchen. He came back with four plates of food balanced on his arms. "You haven't eaten yet, have you?" He placed the food in front of Allen.

"Kanda I don't have time for this, I have to–"

" _Eat_." Allen looked at his lover and sighed.

"Fine, fine." he said, and started taking in the food. Kanda sat across from him with his arms crossed and watched. Allen finished his food and got to go back to the kitchen when Kanda grabbed his arm and pulled him down so that he was sitting on his lap.

"You're not going anywhere, beansprout." he said, encasing the albino with his arms.

"Hey! I told you I'm not a beansprout!" came his reply. Kanda picked something out from Allen's hair. It was, ironically, a beansprout. He looked at it, then back at his lover.

"Hmm? I don't see any difference."

"H–hey!" Kanda chuckled. "Kanda let me go, I still have work to do."

"Nope. Today was supposed to be my day off, and I was going to have you all to myself. But now I have to share you with all those idiots coming tonight, so I'll take what I can right now." Kanda held onto Allen tighter. Allen blushed.

"W–what… Oh fine." He relented and snuggled into his lover's embrace. They stayed like that for a few minutes, then Kanda let him go.

"You've calmed down enough?" he asked.

"Yeah, I have. I really needed that, thanks Kanda." Allen replied, and walked into the kitchen.

…

A few moments of silence.

…

"ARGH! We're out of eggs! Kanda! Market! Now!" Allen came rushing back out with the list in his hands. He dragged his lover from his seat to the front door, and thrusted the list into his hands. "Go, go, go, go, go!" And Kanda was promptly shoved out the door.

* * *

Kanda sighed as he entered the market. While pushing the cart, he looked at the list. "Let's see, four dozen eggs, three gallons of milk, two large turkeys, twenty pounds of sugar– the hell? Why does he need so much sugar?" His thoughts went to two of his lover's family members, Road and Skin.

…

"Whatever. Eight pounds of potatoes…" the list went on a bit further. It was a pretty decent sized list.

He went and got all the items, two thirds of the cart filled. He was about to go check out when his phone beeped. It was a text from the beansprout.

 _Beansprout: Actually can you buy another two packs of flour?_

He typed a quick reply.

 _Kanda: Got it._

He made his way to the aisle when his phone beeped again.

 _Beansprout: And maybe another dozen eggs?_

He got the flour, and went back to the eggs section, and was about to type back a reply when,

 _Beansprout: Wait make that two._

He got the two dozen eggs. His phone beeped again.

 _Beansprout: And eight pounds of carrots._

A short pause.

 _Beansprout: And four cans of beans._

 _Beansprout: And a bag of onions_

 _Beansprout: Six more pounds of sugar._

Kanda's phone was soon reduced to a Morse code machine. He didn't even have the chance to read the texts before a new one came. _'Eh… This isn't going to fit in one cart. Or maybe even the car for that matter.'_ Kanda sweat dropped. People were looking over at him to try and see the cause of the noise.

* * *

A few hours, many trips back and forth between the car and the market, and over six hundred dollars' worth of food later, Kanda had finally finished buying all the groceries. The car was packed to the brim with bags, and he squeezed into the driver's seat. He sighed and muttered, "The things I do for you…" He was about to start the engine when his phone beeped one last time.

 _Beansprout: And one can of cranberry sauce._

The people in the market all felt a wave of murderous intent as a Japanese man walked back into the store.

* * *

When he got back, there were already three cars parked in front of their house. Before he even got out of the car, the front door slammed open. "Kanda! Thank goodness! The groceries are here! Thank you so much!" Allen exclaimed, totally ignoring the Japanese man as he rushed to get the bags out. Three more figures followed suit to help him.

"Good afternoon Kanda." That was Lenalee.

"Y-yes! Hello Kanda!" That was his sister-in-law, Miranda. The third figure did not say anything to him. He recognized her as Lulubell. Kanda walked into the house as the girls, and Allen, zoomed back and forth, bringing in the bags.

"Hello Kanda." He turned. He saw his blind foster brother Marie. "How have you been?"

"Fine."

"That's good to hear."

"My sweet Lenalee!" a loud voice rang through the house, "Won't you let your dear brother help you? I have brought the great Komurin IV to help with the cooking!" Kanda groaned out loud. He did not want to deal with the annoying sister-complex that was the head of the police department in his house.

"No brother! Get that machine out of the house before you bring this whole place down!" The doorbell rang.

"Coming!" cried Allen as he rushed to the door, covered from head to toe in whatever it was they were cooking in there.

"Hey there, boy~"

"Allen!"

"Tyki! Road! How've you been?"

"I missed you so much Allen!" Road then jumped on Allen and gave him a peck on the lips. Two waves of murderous intent resounded throughout the house. Kanda was about to punch Road off when Tyki was suddenly trampled to the ground as someone who looked a bit older than him stood on him.

"My beloved Road! How dare you dirty my precious Road!" he hollered.

"But daddy! It was just a greeting kiss!"

"Sheryl g'd _d'mn_ it g't off me!" came a muffled voice from under Sheryl's feet. He looked down.

"Oh! Tyki my brother! What are you doing there?" Everyone sweat dropped. A fourth figure from behind the trio sighed.

"Dad, I think you should get off of Uncle Tyki. He looks like he's suffocating." Allen's eyes lit up and he grinned.

"Wisely!" he cried.

"Yo Allen, how's it going?" The two albinos then launched into a nice conversation, as Sheryl helped his brother up. Kanda could already feel a migraine forming. A loud crash sounded from the kitchen as Miranda's voice hollered out, "Hyah! I'm so sorry!"

"And that's my cue." said Allen, as he rushed back into the kitchen. Kanda was about to close the front door when two motorcycles roared into their driveway.

"Oi oi! This is Allen's house right?"

"Yeah, yeah! Allen's house. Hee!" Two young men(?) dressed in skin-tight jeans and large hoodies got off the motorcycles. Kanda glared at the tire marks now resided on his driveway.

"Oi, you little shits, those tire marks had better be gone by the time you leave." he growled.

"Oh shit! It's Allen's hubby!"

"Hieee! Scary!" The two ran into the house, fleeing from Kanda's wrath. Speaking of wrath, another car pulled up, and out came a large, buff man, sucking on a lollipop with a scowl on his face.

"Hey Skin!~" Road called out from inside the house. Skin ambled to the door and grumbled out,

"The Earl said he might come a little late." before trudging inside. Kanda could feel his patience wearing down. Aside from his beansprout, there was already, like what, twelve people in his house? And there was still plenty more to come! Oh the horror! He went back into the house, narrowly missing a vase that flew towards his head. He caught it before it broke and snapped his head in the direction it came from. The twins stood there frozen.

"He did it!" they both said at the same time, pointing at each other. Kanda slowly advanced towards them.

Walking out of the kitchen to check up on things, Allen found the twins crying in the corner, clutching the large bumps on their heads.

* * *

It was nearing the evening when the next wave of guests arrived. A certain redhead bounded into the house and cried, "Allen!"

"Lavi!"

"Allen!" Lavi cried again, as he prepared to jump on him, his lips puckered.

" _Rabbit._ " He stopped mid-jump.

"O-oh. Hey Y–Kanda! Didn't see you there… Heh heh…" Lavi chuckled nervously. Kanda was about to whack him upside the head, when a short man beat him to it.

"Idiot! Is this how you behave as a guest?" Said man was and old man with dark makeup under his eyes.

"Ow! Panda what was that fo– !" He was met with another whack to the head.

"Who're you calling Panda!" The redhead cradled his injured head and whimpered to his grandfather. Kanda snorted at the scene in front of him. He had seen this so many times already.

"Yuu! My beloved son! Oh how I've missed you so!" Kanda was suddenly hugged from behind. He turned his head stiffly. Behind him he saw the artist that was also his foster father.

"Old man. Let me go."

"Boohoo! My son doesn't love me!" The man was now crying into the back of Kanda's shirt, making it wet. Kanda was very rigid, clenching and unclenching his trembling fists.

"Might as well let him do as he please, Kanda. You know how he is." A Turkish man said. Kanda looked in his direction. The man had purple markings under his eyes, and he held a soccer ball. He was also Kanda's other foster brother.

"Daisya." He grunted.

"Yo."

"You had better not let that ball loose in the house or I will kill you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kanda and his family walked into the living room. It was even more crowded than before since they set up more tables that extended from the dining room to accommodate all the guests. They were already setting up the table. Three guests had yet to arrive.

"Alright everybody, dinner's in ten." called out Allen. He, Lenalee, Miranda, and Lulubell started bringing out the massive amounts of foods from the kitchen to the table. An enormous array of turkeys, mashed potatoes, soups, stews, meat pies, steamed corn and many other dishes were placed down through multiple trips from the kitchen. And that was excluding dessert, which was placed on a different table, a bit off to the side. "Okay, let me clean myself up a bit and then we'll start." said Allen, and he went upstairs to change.

When Allen came back down, now free of food residue, everybody was getting in their seats. He couldn't wait to dig into the ambrosia that sat upon their table. The doorbell rang, which signaled the arrival of some of their last guests. Allen went to open the door.

"Allen my boy!" smiled a middle-aged square-faced man with some stubble around his chin.

"Earl!" Allen leapt and gave the man a hug.

"What, no greeting for me, idiot apprentice?" Allen looked behind the earl and saw a smirking redhead with wire-framed glasses.

"Master Cross!" he cried and he gave the man a hug too. Cross held up a bottle in his left hand.

"I brought booze!" he stated proudly.

"Ahaha. Of course you did." Allen chuckled. As they walked into the dining room Cross held something up in his right hand, hidden by his hat.

"Guess who?" he said. The twins stood up from their seats, eyes sparkling.

"Mr. Chicken?!"

"Nope, think again. It's Mr. Turkey!" Cross removed his hat and held high what was indeed, a small live turkey.

"Gobble gobble gobble!"

"Yay!" Cross tossed the turkey into the twins' hands, much to its dismay, but it soon decided it'd be best to just allow the strange two men cuddle it.

"Master!" scolded Allen, "You can't just bring a live turkey here when we're having turkey for dinner…" His voice trailed off, as it was already too late to do anything about it. He sighed. "You know what? Forget it. Come on we're serving the food." They all sat back down and served the food.

* * *

It was already ten minutes into dinner when they heard some distant tire screeching and many car alarms going off grow increasingly louder, until it stopped with a loud crash outside the house.

Allen sweat dropped. "And… that would be our final guest." Suddenly the front door was flung off its hinges.

"Allen my darling nephew! Your great Uncle Neah has arrived!" Everyone, except Allen and Kanda, stared at the eccentric man at the door. Allen had face palmed, while Kanda glared at his broken door.

"Hn. We can see that." the Japanese man bit out. Everyone could feel what Kanda was about to do. But he could do anything, a hand grabbing his arm stopped him.

"Kanda, just let the door be for now. We can deal with it later." came Allen's gentle voice. Kanda looked at his lover's eyes before turning away.

"Che." Everyone sighed in relief, and they all went back to eating, now with Neah in their group. Allen and Kanda sat next to each other, holding hands for when things got a little too crazy and Kanda needed something to hold him back.

Their conversations varied greatly, from 'My flowers have been growing fine.' to 'And then the great Komurin III doodled on the walls.' to 'Then the monkey just went bat shit crazy and dyed all of our hair pink.'. This was one of the more normal conversations:

"Allen, can you pass me some more cranberry sauce?" asked Road.

"Oh sure! No problem, Road." Allen picked up the sauce platter and was about to hand it across the table when his uncle cut in.

"Oh Allen! Here, let me help you!" Neah brought his hand up to take the platter from him, except his hand hit the side of the platter and it was knocked into the air. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the sauce and platter flew across the table, and onto Road's dress.

…

The entire table went quiet.

…

Four mischievous grins formed. Jasdevi, Daisya, and Lavi all yelled, "Food fight!"

Chaos ensued.

* * *

Food was thrown, plates were broken, and tables were flipped. Screams rang throughout. "Hah! Take that!"

"Yo! Pie to the face!"

"Hyaah Marie!"

"Miranda!"

"Komurin IV go!"

"Brother no!"

"Road! Don't worry, daddy will protect you!"

"Where are my sweets!"

Meanwhile Allen was by the side on his knees, whimpering, "My food… My precious food… All that hard work…" Allen and another figure slowly retreated into the kitchen.

* * *

The kitchen was like a post-war zone, empty food containers, unwashed trays, and food residue covered every surface, but it was nothing like what was going on in the dining room. Allen and Kanda sighed. "I'm sorry Kanda." he said, head down.

"Hah? What for?" Kanda was genuinely confused.

"Because! Today was supposed to be a happy familial get together, but then this happened, and now it's kind of ruined. You probably had a bad time too and…"

"Idiot." Allen's head looked up.

"H-huh?"

"Does it look like I give a damn about all that?"

"B-but…" Allen started.

"Look, I don't care what happens. I'll be happy as long as I'm with you. Besides, they'll be the ones paying for it."

"K-kanda…" Allen broke out into a bright smile. The two men leaned in to kiss…

They were hit with a small weight, causing them to fall and multiple pots to clatter. They looked at what now rested on Allen's chest. It was the hat-bearing Mr. Turkey, with the slightest hint of alcohol on it. It stared at them.

…

"Gobble gobble gobble!"

* * *

 **And scene!**

 **So that's that. Eh... I think the focus sort of drifted during dinner, so the ending's sort of shoved there, but whatevs! I'd like to thank all those who've taken the time to read this and happy Thanksgiving!**

 **Please review, and**

 **Au revoir~**


End file.
